i am done trying

i'm trying.
i'm trying.
i keep trying.
until i'm tired and i get lost.
lost in my own mind.

i don't know how to be okay right now, cause i'm really really in my bottom line.
i'm alive but barely breathing. i'm smiling but holding so much tears.
i know that i'm in pain. and being sensitive right now.

i feel pain. i feel empty. like there's a big hole in my heart, but full of ache.
i feel uncomfortable. i don't feel like i'm accepted.
but i tried to accept, i had to.
accept when they treated me differently.
accept the things that keeps haunting me. every night. in my dreams. in my sleep.

i'm broken.
and it hurts so much more than you know.
but there's a good side of it.
now i understand how broken a person can be.

i'm struggling. but now, i'm so done with it.
i tried so hard, but it's never good enough for them.
so....

i'm done trying.
yes i am.