Sep 24, 2015
sleepless nights
semenjak menapaki kaki di tahun kedua perkuliahan, aku semakin sadar artinya lelah. bukan sekedar fisik, tapi mental yang berkali-kali ditempa
aku sadar belakangan aku memforsir berlebihan, tapi apa daya jika itu menjadi tanggung jawabku. aku tak ingin menjadi lemah, meski fisik sudah tak sanggup dan hati sudah meluka
ada jarak. entah dengan siapapun. yang menjauh memicu perih, yang mendekat memicu pilu. apa semua perubahan selalu membawa ketidaknyamanan?
ada sepi yang perlahan menggerogoti..entah berapa lama lagi sampai tubuh ini habis ditelan hawa nafsunya sendiri.
ada beban. yang tak semakin sedikit. yang membuatnya semakin sulit untuk dijalani, dan semakin menarik aku jauh dari pintu keluar.
aku menjadi gelap dalam malamku sendiri
aku menjadi tangis dalam air mataku sendiri
aku menjadi mimpi dalam tidurku sendiri
tanpa ada isi, tanpa ada rasa, tanpa ada pikir.
kosong.
kosong.
dan semakin kosong.
May 5, 2015
c'mon mind
are you crazy or something? really you totally gonna crash my mind right now...what the hell are you doing in there huh?
please i need to rest for a while, don't be so hectic at time like this..it makes me spinning around like merry go round that won't stop.
and you, seriously you ain't doin something or what? just sit there say anything you use to say everyday without even notice how broke i am right now.
can't even imagine how i can stand for another time like this, it's kinda frustrating and exhausting. i need to go off, i need a day off but i can't and you know that. but all you did was nothing, in fact you're just making it worse.
silly me for holding on? i hope not. even i did say need to break free and lighten up my day, i can't get rid of imagining me without you. i think i am going to drown in a river of tears. hiperbol i know sorry tho..but i guess it's right
thanks for the support besties whoever you are. thanks for listening to all the crap i've been saying about these mixed thought. thanks for every stupid questions and damn good advices that slap me in the face. I love u, u guys know that (i hope)
well. please go okay, i need to be free for a while from things like these. Nite nightmares.