I'M IN LOVE WITH ONE DIRECTION ALL OVER AGAIN ALL OF SUDDEN.

buat yang lagi mau pra-us

heyho you, sekarang i'm using your laptop, posting hehe..maaf yaa dipinjem..and thankyouuu :D

semangat yaa dit belajarnya..persiapin yang maksimal buat besok dan seminggu ke depan...i know you can do it and pass it, semuanya pasti lancar kokk...!

goodluck goodluck..wish you all the luck you can get from Him... Jesus bless you dit... :) and my pray with you hihi love youu!


btw here's a song to accompany you :) enjoy..

20.12.2013

do i get hurt?

"what if you come up to a point when no one understand? will you hold on to yourself?"

i'm actually confused. i just can't tell myself what is going on and what is wrong with me. it just, there's something mixed up in my mind and driving me like crazy. i feel lost. and kinda insane. i keep lying to myself saying 'i'm okay" when i'm actually not.

i don't know what is really happening right now. but it felt like a lump in my heart and i don't know what it is. certainly, it keeps hurting me. i feel like haunted every time. by this feeling. i wanna cry. i just want to. but i can't. i always ended up holding it back. blink back my eyes so the tears won't fall. not even a drop. but i know that deep down inside i'm crying out loud and screaming. but you know what hurt me more? to realize that no one here to listen. no one here to understand. cause i can't even understand what is wrong in me. i can't tell my self what is up. i keep smiling. and say i'm fine. i keep walking and listening to happy songs. but it didn't help me change my mood. and in the end, i break my on walls. my heart keeps shattering myself. and all i can do is just hide myself under the pillow. and let it be wet with every teardrops that come out from my eyes. i'll fell asleep after that and let go. when i wake up, i want this thing go away. but it choose to stay. and i keep asking myself, why it choose to stay? what is wrong? why can't i let myself be free from this heartache? why can't i release? :(

i'm tired. i'm tired of everything. i'm tired of faking smiles. i'm tired to felt this way. i'm tired of holding back. i'm tired to hear others when they can't even hear mine. i'm tired to be alone and feeling lonely. i hope i'm just tired. not hurt.

alex goot

smiles

do i run out a smile?

i thought it will be easy as it seems. like most of people said. but don't you guys get it? it was never easy. it is not easy. some of them said, maybe i just need to wait. but the question is, 'till when? 'till i'm tired enough? or up to a point, where i could no longer move on. and in the end, waiting will be the only way.

if only i can say that i want to end this thing up. but my heart won't let me. and 'till now, all i know is, my feeling for him was never fading. yes it was never. but it always took me to a doubt. doubt to go on with this feeling. and now i'm not sure enough with myself. do i pretend? i hope not. 'cause even it hurts, much more than you know, i'm still here. standing here alone and wait for you. anything about you. waiting for you to text me (first). waiting to see you every weekend. waiting to hear your voice again. waiting for your hand holding mine. waiting for you.

i guess you will never understand how long it took me to stay strong. to stay up at night, just to have a conversation with you. even if we talk about absolutely.....nothing. to hold on to this kind of feeling, missing you every second. even i know, we're nothing. but i'm drowning in this feeling. and seems like i cannot swim back to the surface and let this go. i should've known, that it will never be easy. for you and for me.

but do you see my eyes? they won't lie. and all of my tears are hiding behind these. ready to fall down and waiting to be wipe out from my face. and here i am now. waiting for you, waiting to have another smile. because of you.

i miss you

hello there

the angel from my nightmare

the shadow in the background of the morgue

the unsuspecting victim

of darkness in the valley

we can live like Jack and Sally

if we want

where you can always find me

and we'll have halloween on christmas

and in the night we'll wish this never ends

we'll wish this never ends

i miss you

(i miss you)

where are you?

and i'm so sorry

i cannot sleep

i cannot dream tonight

i need somebody and always

this 6 string's darkness

comes creeping on so haunting every time

and as i stared i counted

the webs from all the spiders

catching things and eating their insides

like indecision to call you

and hear your voice of treason

will you come home and stop this pain tonight?

stop this pain tonight

don't waste your time on me

you're already the voice inside my head (i miss you)

don't waste your time on me

you're already the voice inside my head (i miss you)

hmm, maybe this song are meant for you. cause i'll be missing you, as always. :)

thanks to my bro!

dengerin deh lagu ini enak loh... kakak gw yang kasih tau, dan videonya juga oke punyaa.. enjoy peeps! :D

true love

best friends, they come and go depending on your highs and your lows

my best friend decided not to be there when i needed her the most

i thought you be there for me, then why did you lie to me, using me to get what you want

then i couldn't believe it happened... no i couldn't understand...

true love, walked out the door, i couldn't take it no more

true love, it broke my heart, you make my whole life sore

he said he'd be my baby, then why did he betrayed me..temptation got to his head

then i left him... (yeah) and this is what i said...

it feels like, it's gonna be okay

it feels right, it just feels that way

it feels like, it'll be a better day

'cause i believe that in the end...

good things are coming my way...

these are the lyric of a song.. i heard the song from one of the episode of dino thunder (power rangers)..kira ford the yellow ranger, played by emma lahana, sing this song.. and i love this song. simple. but the words.. really striking. nice though..hope you guys enjoy.. (Y) :D