i'm fine

"i'm dying"

"you're not dying, you're just hurt"

"why is it has to be this hurt?"

"it's because you're a human"

it just lines from a film. and it's true.

don't you ever be afraid to feel what is called pain.
don't you ever be afraid to feel what is called love.

it brings you to broken hearted. leave your heart shattered. into pieces.
it brings you to suffering. misery that continuously hit you.
it brings you to lies. many lies. even until you cannot tell, which is right and wrong.
it brings you to fight. fight your own heart. fight your own dignity.
disagreement between heart and mind. takes you on a never-ending madness. rebelled, as if they had never be in line. leave you with all the doubts that are present in your life.
until the end of the day, all you want to do is commit a suicide.

but actually, you just want to be free from your agony.
you just want to feel the happiness of love.
you're just tired of faking smiles. you're just weary lying to yourself.
you just want them to know exactly what your feeling is.
you want to stop acting like you're okay.
you want to make them understand that sometimes you feel lonely.
like no one cares. like nobody notices.

you feel like you're screaming. but all you can hear is silent.
you feel like you're a mess. when actually you just hurt.
you fall apart. you fall too hard. 'till you can't climb back to the top. and say you're just fine.
you keep hiding at the corner. even if your eyes are not able to stem the tears again. you will wipe away the teardrops. and again, let go all of the stress.

they just don't know what you've been through.
they just don't know that you're dying inside.
but you're still living.
'cause of the great pain that you feel this whole time.
prove you, that you're alive. that you are a human.