the end of the semester

hai, lagi deg-degan.
entah menunggu kepastian apa. entah menunggu berita apa.
gosip sana sini bermunculan, tapi aku masih percaya tidak ada yang tercecer lagi dari kami, gonzaga duapuluhlima.

hai, kawan, sahabat, teman, dan keluargaku.
percayalah, baik atau buruk semua ada maksudnya.
berharap terus saja. aku kamu dia dan mereka semua, masih bergandengan tangan.
kita satu kan?
aku harap semua serentak menjawab ya.

gonz 25,
apapun yang terjadi, kita tetep sama-sama ya.
4 ipa, 3 ips. 7 kelas. gak akan berubah.

goodluck my friends, AMDG.

wish #36 : persahabatan yang tidak pernah berubah

-refrain

a kiss on the forehead

if his first kiss was on your forehead, he's a keeper -tumblr

i might have been dreaming that one day i'd have someone whom i love so much, and now i have you.

the one who can listen to all my distress. the one who would sit next to me just to make me know that you're there when i needed you. the one who is patiently waiting for me to reply your text, even though you knew i had been asleep. the one who encourage me when i'm drowning in my misery. the one who would be able to make me smile, every time i felt like i loss everything. the one who accepted all my flaws and my weaknesses. the one who is staring intently into my eyes where i could see the happiness.   the one who gave me a hug, tightly like you would never letting it go. the one who kissed me on my forehead, just to show me how much you really care about me.

i might have been dreaming, but now i found myself would rather be in the real world, cause now i have you.

"kita kalo nonton action terus yaa?"

"ah enggak, 5cm bukan.."

"itu kan spesial.."

-a simple silly conversation that makes me smile :)

your own imaginary

imagine you're in a place. silent. alone.

it does have corners, but you're not drowning in a darkness. so you don't need to be afraid. you're just squared there, inside. locked out.

once again, you're just in a place.

you hear something. but, just ignore where is it from. you hear another thing. it sounds softly. rushing through your ears. connect to your brain. but all you have to do is stay constant.

a drop of rain, knock-knock the glasses of your window. you know that, you listen to it clearly. but do you realize, that there's also something hit your floor. the land, where you're sitting on, right now. it's your teardrops.

a cold wind, pierced up into your ribs, your bones. reminds you about something.a thing that is haunting you, now. a thing that you forced to forget. another heartbreaks. another agony. another memories. you know, you're suffering.

a dim light, brighten your empty space. let your eyes capture shadows you don't want to see. a picture from your own flashbacks. make you wonder why you really need to remember that stuff. all of it. make you think about yourself, sitting there all by yourself. alone and lonely. you just don't understand, that actually you can't hold any of your sadness. anymore.

an old photograph, which is standing there with its frame. staring straight to your heart. the one that rearranged from every pieces that broke down. few moments ago. enters your soul and push you to relive the taste of the bitterness, you once knew. previously.

once again, you're just in a place. a room. with memories.

but remember, you're just imagined it. a dream maybe, sweet one or a nightmare?

cuma iseng

"butterfly fly away..." 

-miley cyrus

yang mereka bilang teman

lebih sakit ini loh dibanding putus cinta. lagi-lagi aku harus berkata seperti itu.

teman ternyata tiang penguat segala kerapuhan, lebih dari yang kamu sadari.

memang ada keluarga, tapi mereka juga pernah bilang, 'sahabat dan temanmu, saudara yang terpisah jauh sekian tahun'. itu artinya mereka juga keluarga kan? tapi masa iya memperlakukan keluarganya seperti itu?

teman ada buat jadi pendengar yang baik, tetapi kadang kita sendiri yang dibutakan oleh apa yang mereka dengar.
teman menjadi sandaran kala tidak ada yang menopang, namun kadang kita lupa untuk memopong tubuh sendiri.

ternyata sesakit itu.
menyadari bahwa ada yang diinjak-injak atas nama pertemanan.
menyadari bahwa ada kepalsuan dari tiap sorotan matanya.
menyadari bahwa ada dusta nestapa di tiap perkataannya yang menenangkan.
semua itu tipu muslihat. seperti bermain dengan sebilah pedang.

maka dari itu, pertemanan mungkin juga begitu.

keras ya kehidupan?
ketika menyadari mereka hilang dan menjadi duri dalam dagingmu, musuh dalam selimut di nina bobomu.

"mereka mengenal aku bukan sebagai aku.

mereka mengenal aku dari mereka.

dan mereka mengenal aku dengan kebencian."

- catatan kecil seorang yang mengenal seorang 'teman'